No Such Luck

    Share
    avatar
    Chojin
    Rank: Guardian
    Rank: Guardian

    Name : Craig
    Age : 32
    Gender : Male
    Location : hiding in plain sight
    Posts : 2413
    Joined : 2008-04-19

    No Such Luck

    Post by Chojin on Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:51 am

    The idea for the ending popped into my head at a rather random moment, so I decided to write something that would lead up to it. I hope you enjoy it and I'll try to write some more things at some point soon. I was inspired to write this piece by a piece of writing I did when I was a kid, a piece that I called "An Alien Visitor".


    No Such Luck



    It was a dark and starry night, not that you could tell through the storm clouds that had gathered within the last few hours. The storm was fierce, threatening to pull trees from their roots as rain beat down on them and harsh winds blew in ever changing directions. Lightning lit up the sky as it forked to the ground. The thunder was deafening.

    A lone figure ran through the trees, risking his life in this harsh weather. The way the figure was running betrayed him. He was obviously trying to escape from an unknown pursuer. Lightning flashed as he slammed into a tree he did not see. He fell to the muddy ground. Hastily he got up, caked in mud. He stood still and looked around to get his bearings. His breathing was becoming rapid and shallow; he would soon need to rest. He shook his head, as he thought ‘no, can’t let them catch up.’ He figured out which direction he needed to run and made haste. It was his only hope. ‘Get out and get help.’ was all he could think. He didn’t want to leave his family behind, but he had no choice, they would be safer where they were.

    In the distance, he could hear the calls of people looking for him. The noises encouraged him to move faster. The going was tough in the storm. Drenched from the rain and buffeted by the wind, he struggled more with every step. He’d been running for hours, now, and fatigue was starting to set in hard. Each step came with more difficulty and his breathing became more laboured as time went on. His gait became clumsy and random. Fear began to creep into the edges his mind, threatening to take him completely. He knew he wouldn’t make it much further without collapsing; he just had to fight it off as long as he could. The strain soon became too much. He stopped. He bent over and rested his hands on his knees as he tried to calm his breathing. His vision began to fog. His whole body ached as he slumped against a nearby tree. His vision fogged over completely. He briefly heard a wet thud. He was completely unaware that he now lay upon his back slipping deeper into unconsciousness. He was done. Thoughts of his loving family swam through his misty head, thoughts of his kids growing up at home, his wife preparing a meal for them all. More sinister thoughts floated into his mind, thoughts of when the aliens that had come to their homeworld captured them. He could see those ugly, pink faces as they took his family from their home to a far of camp. He saw his friends and what the aliens did to them when they failed to do what they were told, something his family would find increasingly hard.

    His eyes shot open. He suddenly felt full of energy, he couldn’t let his family down, and he needed to get help. With his new grasp on life, he got up and ran with all the strength he could muster. The storm still raged. Ahead he saw a light that wasn’t there before he had collapsed, or it was but he just couldn’t see it. His heart raced as he drew closer and closer. The light was blinding, but he knew that one way or another the nightmare would be over soon. He felt a wave of warmth wash over him as he cleared the trees. The light now flooded the area. He stopped as he saw silhouettes moving towards him. He felt a shove from behind and he tumbled into the mud once again. He stole a glance behind him and saw one of the aliens. From that moment, he knew it was over. They had found him; the humans had him.


    Last edited by Chojin on Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:51 am; edited 1 time in total
    avatar
    Fizzie
    Rank: Starling
    Rank: Starling

    Name : Sam
    Age : 35
    Gender : Female
    Location : Bristol
    Posts : 4948
    Joined : 2008-04-18

    Re: No Such Luck

    Post by Fizzie on Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:47 pm

    I'll have to re-read this, but I remember when I first read it and it made me feel sad for the poor little dude. Crying or Very sad


    _________________
    avatar
    Chojin
    Rank: Guardian
    Rank: Guardian

    Name : Craig
    Age : 32
    Gender : Male
    Location : hiding in plain sight
    Posts : 2413
    Joined : 2008-04-19

    Re: No Such Luck

    Post by Chojin on Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:13 am

    I showed this to my mate in America, someone I talk to a lot about my writing as he writes as well, and he thinks I should try and write some more to this because he thought it was very interesting. Maybe if I get enough interest in this story, I might write another part.


    Last edited by Chojin on Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:48 am; edited 1 time in total
    avatar
    Fizzie
    Rank: Starling
    Rank: Starling

    Name : Sam
    Age : 35
    Gender : Female
    Location : Bristol
    Posts : 4948
    Joined : 2008-04-18

    Re: No Such Luck

    Post by Fizzie on Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:52 am

    Chojin wrote:I showed this to my mate in America, someone I talk to a lot about my writing as he writes as well, and he thinks I should try and write some more to this because he thought it was very interesting. Maybe if I get enough interest in this story, I might write another part.

    In a way, I think you should leave it. Because it's really different like that.

    But in another way, I think you should do more coz I want the little guy to be okay in the end. ;_;


    Last edited by Kitai on Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:47 am; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
    avatar
    Chojin
    Rank: Guardian
    Rank: Guardian

    Name : Craig
    Age : 32
    Gender : Male
    Location : hiding in plain sight
    Posts : 2413
    Joined : 2008-04-19

    Re: No Such Luck

    Post by Chojin on Sat Apr 26, 2008 6:10 am

    I'll have to think about it, lol

    Sponsored content

    Re: No Such Luck

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Fri Jul 28, 2017 3:31 pm